First Words

Hi Everyone,

So I walk into the British Embassy in Bucharest. Usually at the gate you have to hand in your mobile phone, IPod, any other electrical equipment, have your bag searched, your hair combed for nits and your feet examined for any athlete's foot or veruccas. This time I'm waved through with a big smile from the two guards. The Head of Human Resources greets me, welcomes me to the Embassy and then takes me to the secure area of the Embassy (called the Chancery) where the Ambassador and I will be working.

The Ambassador is not there. The IT person working on one of the computers tells us he has just gone to the toilet. The HR boss leaves me and I wait. Sure enough two minutes later the Ambassador appears with his trousers over his arm saying:
"Hello Andrew. Welcome. I'll be with you in just a moment. Need to sort out my trousers first."

It wasn't the first words I was expecting to hear from my new boss but it certainly broke the ice!
(It was his spare pair of trousers which had been mended that was over his arm - he was wearing his suit. Sorry to spoil the scene!)

Actually apart from that meeting of about half and hour I did not seen him for two days. The Embassy have an extremely well organised induction programme. For those first two days I had a detailed programme saying who I was meeting, what they would be covering and at the end of it all what the result would be. Very professional and un-romanian!

The lady I have taken over from, Heather, sat with me for a week ensuring that I was fully briefed and that the handover was as comprehensive as it could be. It was quite a luxury having a week but somehow on my first day "on my own" I still managed to forget most of what she had told me and just about managed not to have a whole series of panic attacks. We only had two diplomatic incidents, with me offending the Ambassador of Kuwait and injuring the Greek Ambassador. I'm sure the surgeons have extracted the scissors from his leg by now.

Actually it is going very well. The Ambassador is a nice man and the others are great too, very supportive. We had Heather's farewell party at the Ambassador's residence and that really was just like the Ferrero Rocher advert, except the butler was bringing around smoked salmon on crackers, prawns on cocktail sticks etc rather than chocolates. I have met the Finnish and Egyptian Ambassadors this week. When they first take up their Ambassadorships they tour the Embassies meeting all their counterparts. By co-incidence both were ladies, so the male Ambassador stereotype is being broken. And for those of you familiar with Little Britain - yes I am Sebastian Love, the Prime Minister's Aide in that show.....

Me: "Mrs Ambassador, His Excellency is ready to see, you please go in"
I follow her in.
The UK Ambassador greets her.
"Lovely to meet you. Would you like a tea, coffee or water?" he asks.
"Water is just fine" she replies.
"Whatever" I say. "What did your last slave die of?"
Then I turn to the Ambassador:
"And can I fix you a lovely cold G&T with ice and a slice. I know how you love to sip one of those".

So work is going well. The social life is continuing its usual hectic pace. Last week I was out every evening. There was a private party at the French Ambassador's residence (completely separate from my job), a fashion show at the Hilton (Moet et Chandon flowing), the Next Models event (a competition to chose the best new model from Romania to go to the World finals, cheap champagne at this), a party at a place called Gaia Bar where there was a free vodka bar, another fashion show (with Veuve Cliquot champagne) and the opening of a new Chinese restaurant. The restaurant opening was great with a 9 course meal that began at 7.30pm and finished at 30 minutes past midnight when they had to pull down the front wall of the restaurant to enable the diners who now each weighed 500kgs to get out. It was beautiful food but if you ever go there do not have the spicy chicken wings unless you like to eat lava straight from the volcano. This was one of the hottest (as in spiciest) dishes I have ever experienced. Even Tibi had tears coming from his eyes and sweat running down his face!

However that was when my problem began. And it had nothing to do with the food. All that day I had been experiencing terrible toothache. While I did not relish going to the dentist here I realised that there was no way out of it. By the time I got home from the Chinese meal the side of my face had swollen up and it was clear that I had an infection. Tibi rang a friend of ours (Dana) who is a dentist and she recommended some antibiotics which Tibi got for me. She also recommended I get to a dentist. By the next morning my face was resembling the Elephant Man, children screamed when I went to the car and the beggars on the street gave me money patting me on the back sympathetically.

So I am rushed to the dental ER where we meet Dana. She is annoyed I have left it this long, claims I could have died of blood poisoning if the infection had burst in the night and took an x-ray of my mouth. They then rushed me to surgery area. There they cut my gum and drained out the pus. Unfortunately when there is a bad infection like that the anaesthetic isn't very effective. Well actually it is NOT EFFECTIVE at all!!! It hurt, HURT and HURT! But it did the trick. The dentist said the x-ray it showed I needed the tooth which caused the infection to be removed and another one also had to come out. He would do this in a week's time at his private clinic. This so far was on their "NHS" which is free (except we had to give some money to him through another route to make sure I was seen quickly - you know Romania).

Yesterday I went to the clinic at 5.30pm. It was lovely, sparkling clean and he and the assistants were great. He admitted that the anaesthetic they use in the "NHS" hospital is a bit weak and promised me this time I would feel nothing. And he was not wrong. Even when the two assistants stood on my chest while he got a hacksaw, a pair of pliers and some semtex because the teeth were proving a little reluctant to come out, I still felt nothing. Now of course my mouth is swollen, I have a continual ache in my jaw and I'm on a cocktail of pain killers/antibiotics. But he said the rest of teeth were great, so hopefully that is the end of it for some time. And being private I had to pay (officially not backhander) and it was about 90 pounds which was well worth it.

So for all these events I've been to and am going to next week with their free bars/champagne etc - I have been on antibiotics and couldn't touch a drop a drop. Torture!

Well I think I have gone on long enough now. Time to pop some more pills. Hope you are OK.

Take care

Andrew