Life is not a bowl of cherries

Hi Everyone,

Hope you are all well.

Let me begin straight away by saying I have not had anything stolen, nothing like that has happened this week. So that's a good start. Mind you the weather has been so hot this week that my secret money belt has had to be turned into a secret money thong it keep it hidden. Summer has definitely arrived. Which leads me on the the Queens Birthday reception (henceforth referred to as QBR).

It was steaming hot that day and really humid. The QBR took place in the Diplomatic Club, on the outskirts of Bucharest, so a coach took us from the Embassy. The coach left at 5pm exactly and I left the office at 4.30pm. Considering I had to get home (20 minutes) have a shower and get changed (20 minutes) and get to the Embassy (10 minutes) I knew I had seriously misjudjed the time. So I walked fast/jogged home, did not have time for a shower, got dressed into my suit while a pool of sweat gathered around my feet and then dashed off for the coach. I arrived looking like a bucket of water had been thrown over me. Then the coach was 15 mintes late!

The actual reception was a very genteel affair. Only a few Ascot style hats. Lots of military men in full regalia (how on earth they did not melt I do not know) and free food and drink. In the grounds of the club there were tables to stand at and apparently we had been "assigned" to certain tables. The fact that it was 90F outside and they had airconditioning inside, the fact that it was thundering in the distance outside and they had all the food and drink inside, made standing there an absolute joy. Of course the whole thing is a PR exercise, so I kept being introduced to people who I didn't really want to speak to, who did not really want to speak with me, so we would make polite conversation for about 5 minutes and then one of us would say "Must just get some food/drink/go to the toilet/get away from you/get a life". The thunderstorm never came too close so we survived getting rained on but standing outside meant, of course, that the mosquitos had a fabulous time. There must be some fat mosquitos out there still too full to eat having taken litres out of me. Actually apart from the chit chat all you could hear was the desperate slapping of legs and arms.

I was told the bus back to the Embassy was leaving at 9pm exactly. So 9pm exactly I was there. all by myself. No-one else around. Then suddenly all hell was set loose. Police motorcyclists with flashing lights and sirens, a cavalcade of cars and police cars all screeched to a halt. Apparently the Romanian Prime Minister had arrived. This meant all the Embassy staff had to wait behind to meet him. (He had not been expected because he had some meetings, was the excuse. The real reason, or so they say, was that the President of Romania had also been invited. These two top men do not like each other - helpful when you are running a country - and at the moment are going through a particularly bad patch. So they will not go to places together. However the President did not turn up and so, very late since the reception officially finished at 8.30pm, the Prime Minister did.) I did not get home until 11pm.

Apart from that it has been a quiet week here because our Romanian colleagues have been on a study visit to the UK. We will find out today what they thought of it, but please note the title of their activity STUDY visit. They arrived on the Monday, left on Friday and had 3 days of meetings, presentations etc in between. They had specifically asked to talk to someone about how Excise is arranged in the UK. So someone was travelling from Manchester on Thursday to meet woth them. On Wednesday they asked for that meeting to be cancelled to "give us more sightseeing time". That's exactly what the EU want their money spent on. Wait until I see them today!

So things have been relaxed in the office this week. Diana was in the UK translating for the group, so it was just Lavi and me here. Each day Lavi bought some fruit into the office. Peaches, apricots, cherries. I particularly like cherries and so basically put my face in the bowl and ate my way through them - until Lavi said "Oh". Now there is a type of "Oh" you don't really take any notice of. "Oh" I have forgotten something or "Oh" its started raining. This was an "Oh" there is a problem. She was sitting there staring at the cherry in her hand. She had split it in half to get the stone out before putting it into her mouth and she showed me the white maggot inside it. After I came back from throwing up in the toilet, we went through about 20 others and I guess at least three quarters of them had these maggots in them. So while Lavi threw them out I threw them up in the toilet again. We both had eaten quite a few cherries before she noticed this so I guess we must have had some. Although I wasn't sick and have been OK since I am wondering if some recreation of that scene from Alien will take place as a giant maggot bursts out of my stomach! If that happens I will let you know.

My Romanian is coming on in leaps and bounds (well very very slowly actually). But thanks to the assistance of those friendly girls in my street who seem to do the night shift I can now say "Hello" "How are you" "Goodbye" "How much are you willing to pay" "That will be extra" and "I think that is physically impossible but if you are willing to pay for it let's go".

We have 3 UK experts will us this week, so with the Romanian colleagues back as well it will be a busy week. So I had better get on with my work. (Internet at home update - I can now connect to the internet, but cannot access anything "Page cannot be found" is all I can get". Geeks are working on it as I type. You never know I might e-mail you from home next time, or in a few months time).

Take care - thanks again for your e-mails. Apologies if I have not replied, but they are appreciated.

All the best

Andrew the Maggot Eater of Bucharest.