An eventful week

Hi Everyone,

Isn't it typical. I leave the country so you have one of the best summers for a long time. I can't believe I am missing all those barbeques. And for once you are not having to wrap yourselves up once it gets past 9pm.

Barbeques are popular here too, but many Bucharestians (or whatever they are called) go out of the city and have their BBQs by a river or lake. What I don't quite understand is that they nearly all go to the same place. So you suddenly come across what looks like a Lebanese refugee camp with hundreds of people all crammed into one spot all having their BBQs. With the smoke coming off the barbies and the constant smoking of the Romanians you can see these picnic areas 10 miles off but think it is a forest fire.

On the subject of the smoking, it is no problem in the summer because you can sit outside (although inevitably you are surrounded by everyone smoking so your meal is still kippered) but I am dreading the winter. Anyone got a spare gas mask?

So this week has been an interesting one. Let's have the headlines:
New shoes cause chaos
The exploding oven
Buying an MP3 player and destroying the rain forest at the same time
A member of my staff goes on strike (seriously)
Aubergines can be dangerous
Swimming in Bucharest

So last week I bought a new pair of sandals and a new pair of black shoes. Of course I wore the shoes to work on Monday showing them off to everyone. Admittedly when walking to work (about 20 mins) I could feel them a bit on my heels but that's usual for a new pair of shoes. Break them in and they are OK. The internet people RomTelecom rang to say they wanted to come to my apartment to check the line, in 30 minutes! So I dashed home to let them in. Dashed back to the office when they were done and took the shoes off in the office because they really were beginning to hurt a bit on the heels. As I hobbled home at the end of the day I decided to go to a chemist and get some plasters. At home I discovered that most of the flesh had disappeared off the back of my heel. My socks were soaked inn blood and all this week I have been unable to wear any shoes. I have been wearing open sandals (with no back to them) all week. I am sure people are staring at me when walking behind me wondering if I have been taking part in some bizarre cult that involves shaving your heels with a wood planer.

We had another mammoth meal for the experts at my apartment. This time I said I would cook and do something straightforward to try and avoid the Lavi and Diana culinary extravagance of last time. No such luck. Despite what I said I get a phone call from Lavi saying her, Diana and Laura (spare translator) are on their way with most of the contents of the Univers-All supermarket. They make an aubergine starter that was lovely but took a huge amount of time. (We started eating at 10.30pm!!) I did the main course, chicken and potatoes (I told you I was going for simplicity) and then they did a cake for dessert that would have made Delia Smith faint with its complexity. It had to cook in a bowl of water in the oven. Unfortunately they spilt some of the cold water onto the inside of the oven door and the glass shattered into 1000 pieces. This oven is approximately 2 million years old and I think the spare parts were discontinued after the first world war. Not much cooking in the house for me then.

On Friday I went into the kitchen and thought that there is a bit of a smell. It has been hot so I thought there may be something in the bin gone bad so on my way to work (hobbling still) I put the rubbish in the bin. That evening the smell was still there. Having gone sniffing around the kitchen like a demented dog I opened one of the cupboards to discover what can only be described as an enormous dead decomposing rat. On closer inspection (holding my breath) I realised it was 3 aubergines in a plastic bag that had gone very rotten. One had a huge stalk that stuck out like a tail! I think I have got rid of the smell but I'm never letting Lavi near my kitchen again!

Now I have the internet I decided it was time to get an MP3 player (remember there is someone walking around Romania with my stolen player listening to endless Eurovision songs, hope it is driving them mad). I asked an assistant if I could look at the player I was interested in, which was locked behind glass, as was everything in the store. Another assistant had to be got to open the glass. Yes - I will take this one please. OK so another assistant had to give me a piece of paper to take to the payment desk. I pay at the desk and they give me about 10 receipts all of which have to be stamped on the back. I then go back to the assistant who takes 5 of the receipts, stamps all 5 and gives me back 3. I then finally get my MP3 player. But I must now go to another desk to get the guarantee. After queuing for 3 days I get to the front. They need to see 3 of the original cashiers stamped receipts and 2 of the assistants double stamped receipts. They also need my passport. Thankfully I have got used to carrying all my documents around with me all the time. So eventually I get my guarantee and now I can leave the shop. Oh no I can't. The security guard stops me and askes to see the guarantee and a receipt. He stamps both and then I am allowed to leave. I now understand why there are shops selling stamping machines on every street corner. If it moves, stamp it!

My translator (Diana) like Lavi, has to put in invoices (stamped of course) for them to get paid - it's the incredibly complicated beaurocratic EU system. They should be paid within a certain period of time but inevitably they are not. There is always a delay and problems. So on Thursday afternoon (after hearing that it would still be a number of days before her invoice was paid and the payment was already late) Diana walked out saying she had not been paid and so was not working. Friday she came in, checked her account, no payment so went home again! I've never had anyone go on strike before! Anyway we negotiated on the phone Friday afternoon and she will be coming in on Monday, with or without payment. I have contacted the payment people and told them I am making a formal complaint etc etc. Also I told Diana that the spare translator, Laura, would love to work with us, so if she didn't turn up I would take that as a sign she no longer wanted to work and I would terminate her contract. That seemed to do the trick!

To relax in all this mayhem and stress I went swimming with Leslee (one of the experts). For a week now it has been above 32C each day so we looked for a pool and found a complex of 3 olympic sized outdoor pools in the west of the city. A short ride on the underground and 10 lei (2 quid) gets you in for as long as you like. Of course the place was heaving and mainly young people. But we found a bit of space on some grass and set ourselves down. I was wearing my swimming gear under my clothes but Leslee wasn't, so she had to get changed. Nearby were some of those chemical toilet booths, so she popped in to get changed. After a minute the door flew open and Leslee came stumbling out gasping for air and just about covering her embarrassment. She staggered over in her beautiful white swimming costume. That's unusual I said, a pure white costume. "It was multi coloured" she said "before the stomach turning smell of the toilet bleached it of all colour. I could only hold my breath long enough to just about get the costume on!" So we jumped in the water. It was cold but quite refreshing and you got used to it very quickly. Swimming past the corn plasters, chocolate wrappers and clumps of hair made you realise how popular this facility was.

Well I have to go, it is time for my cholera injection.

Take care.

Andrew.

PS Interesting cultural difference no:5 - I was going to get some water for the coffee machine in the office and wash up some cups when I was stopped by one of the women from the office next door.
"Why are you doing that?" she asked
I made some jokey reply and she said "I am serious you should not be doing that. You have two women in your office (Lavi and Diana) and they should do that".
I laughed and she got quite annoyed: "Really, it is not good for you to be seen to be doing this. Get the women to do it!"
So now I don't lift a finger but get the women to do it all for me. I'm liking it more and more here!!Hi Everyone,

Isn't it typical. I leave the country so you have one of the best summers for a long time. I can't believe I am missing all those barbeques. And for once you are not having to wrap yourselves up once it gets past 9pm.

Barbeques are popular here too, but many Bucharestians (or whatever they are called) go out of the city and have their BBQs by a river or lake. What I don't quite understand is that they nearly all go to the same place. So you suddenly come across what looks like a Lebanese refugee camp with hundreds of people all crammed into one spot all having their BBQs. With the smoke coming off the barbies and the constant smoking of the Romanians you can see these picnic areas 10 miles off but think it is a forest fire.

On the subject of the smoking, it is no problem in the summer because you can sit outside (although inevitably you are surrounded by everyone smoking so your meal is still kippered) but I am dreading the winter. Anyone got a spare gas mask?

So this week has been an interesting one. Let's have the headlines:
New shoes cause chaos
The exploding oven
Buying an MP3 player and destroying the rain forest at the same time
A member of my staff goes on strike (seriously)
Aubergines can be dangerous
Swimming in Bucharest

So last week I bought a new pair of sandals and a new pair of black shoes. Of course I wore the shoes to work on Monday showing them off to everyone. Admittedly when walking to work (about 20 mins) I could feel them a bit on my heels but that's usual for a new pair of shoes. Break them in and they are OK. The internet people RomTelecom rang to say they wanted to come to my apartment to check the line, in 30 minutes! So I dashed home to let them in. Dashed back to the office when they were done and took the shoes off in the office because they really were beginning to hurt a bit on the heels. As I hobbled home at the end of the day I decided to go to a chemist and get some plasters. At home I discovered that most of the flesh had disappeared off the back of my heel. My socks were soaked inn blood and all this week I have been unable to wear any shoes. I have been wearing open sandals (with no back to them) all week. I am sure people are staring at me when walking behind me wondering if I have been taking part in some bizarre cult that involves shaving your heels with a wood planer.

We had another mammoth meal for the experts at my apartment. This time I said I would cook and do something straightforward to try and avoid the Lavi and Diana culinary extravagance of last time. No such luck. Despite what I said I get a phone call from Lavi saying her, Diana and Laura (spare translator) are on their way with most of the contents of the Univers-All supermarket. They make an aubergine starter that was lovely but took a huge amount of time. (We started eating at 10.30pm!!) I did the main course, chicken and potatoes (I told you I was going for simplicity) and then they did a cake for dessert that would have made Delia Smith faint with its complexity. It had to cook in a bowl of water in the oven. Unfortunately they spilt some of the cold water onto the inside of the oven door and the glass shattered into 1000 pieces. This oven is approximately 2 million years old and I think the spare parts were discontinued after the first world war. Not much cooking in the house for me then.

On Friday I went into the kitchen and thought that there is a bit of a smell. It has been hot so I thought there may be something in the bin gone bad so on my way to work (hobbling still) I put the rubbish in the bin. That evening the smell was still there. Having gone sniffing around the kitchen like a demented dog I opened one of the cupboards to discover what can only be described as an enormous dead decomposing rat. On closer inspection (holding my breath) I realised it was 3 aubergines in a plastic bag that had gone very rotten. One had a huge stalk that stuck out like a tail! I think I have got rid of the smell but I'm never letting Lavi near my kitchen again!

Now I have the internet I decided it was time to get an MP3 player (remember there is someone walking around Romania with my stolen player listening to endless Eurovision songs, hope it is driving them mad). I asked an assistant if I could look at the player I was interested in, which was locked behind glass, as was everything in the store. Another assistant had to be got to open the glass. Yes - I will take this one please. OK so another assistant had to give me a piece of paper to take to the payment desk. I pay at the desk and they give me about 10 receipts all of which have to be stamped on the back. I then go back to the assistant who takes 5 of the receipts, stamps all 5 and gives me back 3. I then finally get my MP3 player. But I must now go to another desk to get the guarantee. After queuing for 3 days I get to the front. They need to see 3 of the original cashiers stamped receipts and 2 of the assistants double stamped receipts. They also need my passport. Thankfully I have got used to carrying all my documents around with me all the time. So eventually I get my guarantee and now I can leave the shop. Oh no I can't. The security guard stops me and askes to see the guarantee and a receipt. He stamps both and then I am allowed to leave. I now understand why there are shops selling stamping machines on every street corner. If it moves, stamp it!

My translator (Diana) like Lavi, has to put in invoices (stamped of course) for them to get paid - it's the incredibly complicated beaurocratic EU system. They should be paid within a certain period of time but inevitably they are not. There is always a delay and problems. So on Thursday afternoon (after hearing that it would still be a number of days before her invoice was paid and the payment was already late) Diana walked out saying she had not been paid and so was not working. Friday she came in, checked her account, no payment so went home again! I've never had anyone go on strike before! Anyway we negotiated on the phone Friday afternoon and she will be coming in on Monday, with or without payment. I have contacted the payment people and told them I am making a formal complaint etc etc. Also I told Diana that the spare translator, Laura, would love to work with us, so if she didn't turn up I would take that as a sign she no longer wanted to work and I would terminate her contract. That seemed to do the trick!

To relax in all this mayhem and stress I went swimming with Leslee (one of the experts). For a week now it has been above 32C each day so we looked for a pool and found a complex of 3 olympic sized outdoor pools in the west of the city. A short ride on the underground and 10 lei (2 quid) gets you in for as long as you like. Of course the place was heaving and mainly young people. But we found a bit of space on some grass and set ourselves down. I was wearing my swimming gear under my clothes but Leslee wasn't, so she had to get changed. Nearby were some of those chemical toilet booths, so she popped in to get changed. After a minute the door flew open and Leslee came stumbling out gasping for air and just about covering her embarrassment. She staggered over in her beautiful white swimming costume. That's unusual I said, a pure white costume. "It was multi coloured" she said "before the stomach turning smell of the toilet bleached it of all colour. I could only hold my breath long enough to just about get the costume on!" So we jumped in the water. It was cold but quite refreshing and you got used to it very quickly. Swimming past the corn plasters, chocolate wrappers and clumps of hair made you realise how popular this facility was.

Well I have to go, it is time for my cholera injection.

Take care.

Andrew.